New Experiences---New Insights October 10, 2010 2 month mark

October 10, 2010 Our two month mark! Sunday Just some disjointed observations and experiences.

LOVING THE PEOPLE---that is the easy part

We went to visit a man (Ben) and his family way out in the bukid. He has 8 children, one of whom is now serving a mission in South Africa. This man is the 2^nd Counselor in the Branch Presidency, but has not come to Church for 3 months because he was offended. The 1^st Counselor in the Branch Presidency took us to his home. He and his wife and 2 of the babies were present in their home as we visited.

Neal sat very close to him and just loved him (this is so typical of Neal and his feelings for the people). He just asked him why he wasn’t coming. Ben proceeded after a bit to tell him that he was offended with the Branch President because he wouldn’t pay for Ben’s daughter’s funeral. She wasn’t a member of the Church—a married woman, who died very young. He was also offended because no one came to his home to ask why he wasn’t coming to Church. (The bridge has been out and he has been very angry with others at Church for various reasons). Neal just loved him and reasoned with him that he couldn’t afford to drop out of the Church and take all of his children with him. He and his wife and family just went to the temple for the first time in February, and these things happened shortly thereafter. He explained how important it will be to his family to be bound together, and how much he needs the Church and the Church needs him. It is about an hour and a half walk to Church for them.

Then Neal and the 1^st Counselor gave Ben a blessing and then encouraged him to give his wife a blessing, which he did (the first time ever). Then Neal encouraged him to hug his wife…something very foreign to them.

Neal asked permission if he could talk to the Branch President about the problem. We then drove to the president’s shop out on the street some distance away and had him get into the car and explained what had happened. He was wonderful. He had tried many, many times to apologize and to try to bridge the gap with his counselor, to no avail. He was very willing to work with Ben and to apologize to him again and to welcome him back and sit down and counsel with him.

We were to go out on Sunday when Ben promised to return to Church. The plan was for Neal to meet with the two men to try to bring them together again. As it happened, we were just leaving our branch to go to their branch when we got the emergency phone call to drive to get the elder who was returning home early. Ben did come to Church, and they did meet together and mend the hurt feelings on both sides.

WHAT ARE WE DOING? We’ve gone to each of the four Branch Presidents and offered to spend one day a week with their branch every other week, and do whatever the Branch Presidency needs us to do. This is including in most of them, teaching a temple preparation class, teaching a prospective missionary class, visiting less actives and seminary students, and teaching conducting and piano. Then we also will be visiting each of the four branches on rotation each Saturday afternoon to attend their seminary and institutes classes….some branches have 3-4 classes and every branch has at least one seminary and one institute class. We will also continue to rotate visiting each branch in rotation for Sunday services.

HEARTACHE and POLYGAMY (names changed)

We were teaching a Temple Prep class and visiting with one of the attendees. She (Bonnie) is in her 50’s, and looks much younger. She has been a member for 10 years and is a widow with 6 children, 3 of whom are unmarried and still at home. One of the boys is called Bishop Jordan and one is called King Geoffrey. The Bishop and King part is true. She is anxious to have all of them attend the temple with her. Her daughter is 23 yrs old and married to a member of another faith. She has joined that Church with her husband, so she will be unable to attend. Then Bonnie told the following heartbreaking story.

Her daughter-in-law , Mary, (married to Bonnie’s oldest son, Jerry) lives right next door to Bonnie on the family plot with Bonnie’s little granddaughter. Jerry, is a returned missionary. Jerry and Mary have 3 children: 2 boys and a girl. When they got married, the dowry for Mary was 13 cows, several goats, some money etc…..Jerry was never able to pay it. Mary’s family took him to court for the dowry a couple of years ago—after the couple had 3 kids. Jerry couldn’t pay it. The court said it would be effective immediately. The court costs and judgment expanded the amount due including his coat, his hat, a tremendous amount of money.

Because he couldn’t pay and didn’t want to go to jail, he fled to Nairobe where he finally took his 2 sons (leaving the daughter with Mary), and married a second wife. He still visits Mary on occasion. As a result, he has been excommunicated for polygamy. Such grief and pain.

THE YOUTH SUNDAY SCHOOL CLASS

Today, we visited a different branch (one of our 4). I attended the Youth Sunday School Class. I was not the teacher, but the last half, they asked me to be the teacher. The lesson was out of Gospel Essentials Manual on Creating Heavenly Homes. It was a lively lesson—young men and young women together. There were probably 30 kids crammed into a little room. They talked about caning their children to teach them to honor the father in the home and teach discipline. I asked if they thought the prophet caned his children to force them into line. It was a hotly discussed issue because it is so much a part of what they know and believe.

We also talked about wife beating and dowries and African Culture when it collides with Church culture. They talked about paying a dowry as a “sign of appreciation to the parents of the bride” but that it also provided license for many to beat their wives because they become property which was paid for.

We talked about being equal partners and truly loving our spouses and children. I explained how much I love Neal and how much he loves me, and how we would never ever hurt one another physically and would try to never hurt each other verbally. One of the prospective missionaries in the group finally asked, “How can I find a good wife?” We talked about that. I told them about the song, “How to Handle a Woman” and how the lyrics go . . . “simply love her. . . truly love her.” And how when we love each other and treat each other kindly, that love will go on forever and ever. The older boys wanted copies of the song, so they could keep it for when they find just the RIGHT wife! It was really neat.

When we got to Young Women, they sang “Israel, Israel, God is Calling” It was almost breath-taking because it was so beautiful. Of course, they have no pianos in these buildings. They were singing without music and had developed their own harmony and an obligato part that was just gorgeous.

We went into Young Women’s right after that. The YW President was there with her two counselors, but she told me they rarely come to Church. We had seven girls in the class. They were eager learners. No lesson was prepared and no theme given, but we still had a good lesson on the Plan of Salvation. I say good, not because I was good, but because we had a good discussion based on what had been discussed in the earlier class. After class the YW President told me she walks with her 4 kids 2 hours to get to Church because it costs 100 shillings if they ride (100 shillings is a little over $1)—a fortune to her.

She asked me if there was any way we could get her some scriptures because she only has a paperback Bk of Mormon and no Triple or Bible. So, Neal and I met with the Branch Pres afterward to see if we could start the Scripture Program here like we had in the Philippines: For 2 months anyone over 12 who (1.) reads Bk of Mormon every day for ½ hr (2) prays morning and night, (3) attends Church, (4) has FHE each week can qualify for paperback scriptures which we will provide…only this time we will do it through the Branch President so it isn’t coming from us. The seminary kids in each branch are going to be studying the Doctrine and Covenants next year, and I would say almost all of them are going to be without scriptures.

BOARDING SCHOOL Many, many of the parents of school age kids will do anything to earn enough money to send their kids to boarding school. They feel this is the only chance for their kids to get ahead. As we talked with the elders in our area, they told us they had been sent to these kinds of schools when they were kids, and that they were not good places. The kids attend for several months without returning home. They are often exposed to drinking, immorality, and other vices, even though they know the threat of AIDS. The elders said the kids think they will not be affected. It is difficult to run a seminary program because so many of them are gone, but it is also so sad that they don't have their parents' sheltering security during those really important years.

MISSION ZONE CONFERENCE

We went to Zone Conference in Eldoret (2 hours away on roads you would never believe). A highlight of the conference for me was the farewell testimony of a darling sister from South Africa. She is so mature in the gospel. Oh my goodness. The President and Assistants have kidded that she should be the new Assistant because she is so sharp and so spiritual. She talked about when her family joined the Church, they were the only members in their neighborhood, and they were persecuted so strongly by their neighbors. She talked of going to bed night after night and having people throw stones on their metal roof and call out terrible things about them. She spoke of her father and his faithfulness, of him sitting her down and explaining that the neighbors just don’t understand, and that she needed to be strong. She is so fun to listen to because she speaks with that loud clicking sound that the natives had in "The Gods Must be Crazy!'

PRIESTHOOD DEDICATION We got a phone call last night at 8:30 PM from our local Branch President. He said he and his counselors were about 15 minutes away from the Church after having been to Kisumu for the day for a Branch President's Conference. He asked if we would come to the church and take them home. They live in different parts of the area—each about a 2 hour or 2 ½ hour walk from the Church. It was very dark, and we were so grateful we had the Branch President with us because we would never have been able to find our way to their homes and back in the rain without him. We are so impressed with these men. They are so poor…they have absolutely nothing. The 2 counselors got to the Church the night before and slept there so they could be ready when they could get transport in the morning--yesterday morning. They rode 4 hours over roads from you know where…terrible roads….to get to the meeting---going without breakfast….then went to the meeting and rode 5 hours back to get to our building---again going without supper. Then we met them and drove for a long while to get them home from the Church. Such dedication….they are amazing, humble men.

I woke up this morning with 10 bites all over my body….I’m just about going mad with itching…the only good thing about them is that some of them are inside where my clothes cover, so I hope that means they are not Malaria bearing mosquito bites! GRRRRRRR……itchy itchy! That is the news of the day!